Tuesday, December 14, 2010


It should really be the title of a story, that, but since I'm too lazy and distracted to tell proper stories anymore, I'll tell 'em in verse instead. These prompts struck me odd, so you get two stories - the same question, with two different answers.

Funny thing about the word. It was going to be the word I submitted for this round of Word & Question, but I was afraid someone might find it too cheap, so I gave instead a word that Dylan handled wonderfully. In return, I got the word I actually wanted, and was immediately excited about the possibilities.

The answers, though, were harder to find than I at first thought. Still, I found them. And here are the stories, in the order I'd like you to remember them.

Word: Snow
Question: Is this not something more than fantasy?

The First Story
Crunch, crunch, crunch
Virgin snow defiled
Purest white destroyed
Innocence beguiled

Darkness falls
Barren, dirty lands
All around is death
Bleak, the fate of man

Blackness burns
Fantasies to ash
Lost beneath the weight
Beauty turned to trash

Spring arrives
Snow dissolves away
Has no memory
Life fades into day

Hope, hope, hope
To find redemption
In love's glowing embers
I, I remember

The Second Story
Alone he sits and waits
Thinks of her, and oceans
Lying past the gates
Somewhere in between them
Waves that stir like words unspoken
Words yet understood
That rise, fall, dip and swell
A gently rolling token
Of the dreams they've yet to dream
Of stories yet to tell
And softly blowing fairytales
That swirl and whisper in his ear
The warmth of fires hid in winter
Hidden from the driving snow
Hidden, burning ever quicker
Leaping flames that long to go
Across the air, across the sea
To find the arms of which he dreams
At last to rest, at last to be
Alone at home, and love to know
As something more than fantasy


  1. +JMJ+

    Keep it up, Dauvit, and you'll soon have lyrics for an entire album! ;-)

    I'm intrigued by your choice to have two poems intended to fit each other.

    They make a rather sad story, though. I hope he finds her in time for spring. But the inclusion of "fairytales" makes me wonder whether he's grasping at snowflakes, which can only melt away in time.

  2. After reading your comment I went back and read the first poem in the voice of Ben Burnley of the band Breaking Benjamin. It kind of works.

    They're actually two different stories. Two different places in the cosmos. The second is a happier one. Those gates are the gates to a flight home. If I know him, he'll be listening to Doc Watson's "Leaving London" while he waits.

  3. Dauvit --

    I really like the First Story! The lean lines make a very potent and memorable music; and, yes, the rhymes make it suitable for song.

    For some strange reason, my favorite line in the first story is "Life fades into day" -- the day sneaking up on one, as it does in real life (with a slight paradoxical feel to the "fade") -- and of course, the sound, with the two long A's.

    And in the second story, I believe I like the coda best -- the last six or so lines. Very firm rhythmically.

  4. These are lovely, but beyond my ability to critique. (And anyway, my internet access is limited right now.) But I'd like to hear the music for them someday.