Thursday, February 10, 2011

Word & Question 9 (or Requiem for a Fantasy 2)

So here I am, the host and all, and I'm late. Sorry 'bout this. I hope the poem makes up for it (though I can't promise it will). On the bright side, this poem adds a little bit of hope to the story.

Word: flour
Question: How did you get so filthy dirty?

The Cabin in the Storm
Another log to feed the fire
Sparks burst out and fall in showers
Another meal of water and flour
Another night alone and tired

Outside the storm rages on
The wind howls about the shack
Searching every hole and crack
He longs for peace to come with dawn

A thud sounds through the night
Softly again, then all is still
He shivers against a creeping chill
They shouldn't be out, but they might

Knife in hand he moves to the door
Throws it open and steps aside
Then yelps and leaps back in fright
As a figure falls onto the floor

Covered in dirt and frozen blue
Hands bloody and battered
Clothes torn and hair matted
If she was alive, God only knew

He gathers her up in his arms
Laying her down by the flame
He does all he can to bring warmth
Back to this girl with no name

So he waits through the night
And prays for dawn to break
To drive off the storm, and see her awake
To bask in the clear morning light


  1. So mine has been up since yesterday ( :-p ) Here you go --

    I like the story of yours very much, and I want to hear more! But then that's for prose, isn't it??

  2. On second reading, I've gotta say this isn't my favorite that I've done. Sometimes structure works out okay, this time I think it cramped my style a little bit.

    I have actually begun to think about fleshing the story out in prose. I think it might be fun.

  3. Wow! Yes, you might flesh out the story in prose or maybe for a bit longer in verse -- but still, Dauvit, great effort, and great story! You've given us a moving tale of rescue from those prompts that so easily could have led one to a lighter mood. And I do like the abba rhyme scheme; apart from Tennyson's "In Memoriam" we don't see it too often!

  4. Oops! Almost forgot. With hangdog glance, with eyes averted, I proffer my misadventure.

  5. I like the narrative. It made me immensely curious as to the backstory, as well as the continuation. I think it you *should* flush it out someday! It certainly was suspenseful.

    As E requested, here's mine for last month that was actually posted this month. Just pretend it's for 2 months. I'll be back in action next month, promise!:

  6. Dylan and Lindsay,

    Thanks. I do think there is more to be explored. I have some Heinleinian notions of expanding some of these poems into stories and creating a world of loosely connected characters. Of course, then I run the risk of creating some run of the mill, generic post-apocalyptic hogwash, which would kind of ruin these little glimpses. If I can figure a way to avoid that, then mayhap I'll give it a go. But J would tell you not to get your hopes up. I've been prating about returning to fiction for a while now.

  7. Speaking of me, I've been having somewhat of a drought lately, for whatever reason. However, after a week of no poetry whatsoever, I have managed to cobble something together (though admittedly rather cynical and depressing).

    Oh, and I like your use of my question, although as you said, I think the rhyme poetic style was cramping you a little. And you should definitely try writing short stories again (I know, after not writing for a week, I'm not much of one to talk).

  8. +JMJ+

    I'm almost done with my poem! I'll comment on everyone else's poems after I publish mine. =)

  9. +JMJ+

    Here it is!

    And I'm quite glad that the wandering girl from the first Requiem for a Fantasy has found shelter. =)

  10. J, (I'm starting to feel like this is Men in Black)

    As I said on your blog, I like what you cobbled together, though maybe that's only because I've run across a few women who "know best".


    So am I, though I definitely didn't intend for it to happen when I finished the first one. I think I like these characters, and would like to see where they go. If only I were Dostoevsky: I'm afraid I will cheapen their story by trying to tell the prose parts of it.

  11. +JMJ+


    If we play Men in Black, you can pretend your initial stands for Dostoevsky. =P

  12. Stilwell's gone AWOL with my word! Stiiiiiilwelllll!

  13. +JMJ+

    Perhaps he's hiding out in Bat's cave.

    Stilwell, please note that we can be bribed with honey cookies!

    (Bat, you may note the same.)